


Bathtub Confessions

by joltik



Category: Hunter X Hunter
Genre: Age appropriate genital curiosity, Coming Out, Gen, Trans Gon, Trans Male Character
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-07
Updated: 2015-05-07
Packaged: 2018-03-29 07:10:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,115
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3887008
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/joltik/pseuds/joltik
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Gon's uncharacteristically nervous, but then he probably never needed to be. After all, Killua is Killua. (Set during the bath scene in episode 37 of HxH 2011, light Kirugon if you squint.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Bathtub Confessions

"Hey, Killua," Gon says as they undress, uncharacteristically nervous. He's taken off his jacket, boots, and socks already, but he's paused at his undershirt.

When he'd suggested taking a bath together, it hadn't been something he'd put a lot of thought into. It was faster and more efficient that way - not that he didn't enjoy baths, but there were so many things he wanted to show Killua now that he's here on Whale Island with him - and he thought it would be fun. Besides, it's not that Gon's ever really been ashamed of his body or even shy about nudity. When he was really little, Mito-san had apparently had a really hard time even getting him to wear clothes or keep them on sometimes. For much of his childhood, he didn't even know there was anything that made his body different from most boys; he'd just always known that he was one. And even once he knew, he didn't care what other people thought, mostly. On Whale Island, at least, even people who were confused were usually quick to accept him for who he was once he said he was a boy. Tourists were a little trickier, sometimes; it hurt whenever they just did not get it, no matter how hard he tried to explain. It hurt and it made him mad, too.

Killua, though... "Yeah?" Killua says, and Gon glances over. He's facing away, already shirtless, but he pauses, too. "What's up?"

Gon trusts Killua implicitly and fully, more than anyone except maybe Mito-san, and in a different way besides. But maybe that's why he's nervous...he knows that Killua's not going to reject him, can't even imagine it, but he's his first friend and so, so important. If this changes something between them, somehow, if things aren't the same between them afterward, he doesn't know what he'll do. Even so...

"I'm - um." Now that Gon thinks about it, he doesn't really know how to tell him, just that he should, probably. Words haven't ever been his strong suit, and he hasn't ever really had to tell someone important to him about this before. "Hmm..." He flops down on the edge of the tub with a huff, thinking hard enough to make his head hurt. "I don't know how to say it," he whines, head in hands. "It's really important but I don't know what to say."

"Hey." Killua sits down next to him on the edge of the tub. "I don't know what all this is about, but it's okay. It's just me."

"Yeah." Gon sighs, trying to collect his thoughts as best he can. "Um." It's just Killua. He drops a finger down to his lips, the other hand falling to the rim of the tub, and he kicks his feet a little. "You know how I'm a boy, right, Killua?"

"Yeah, Gon. 'Course you're a boy." It's a little comforting, maybe, how easily he says that.

"Yeah. Well...my body's kind of different from what most people would expect, I guess. From a boy, I mean." Gon stops swinging his legs, looking down at his hands, crossed in his lap. "I've always known I was a boy, though. I never thought of myself as a girl. People sometimes think I am one, though, when they see me. So... I thought I should tell you, first."

"Okay. Thanks for telling me, I guess." There's a brief silence, but it's thankfully not as awkward as it could be, before Killua turns to him with a cheeky smile. "Man, I thought this was gonna be a big deal or something," he says, and Gon might be upset if it wasn't obvious from his tone that he's joking, "but I don't think I could ever think you weren't a boy. You're _such_ a boy."

"Hehe."

"Anyway. You're Gon. You're the person you are, and if you say you're a boy, you're a boy.

"Yeah." Gon stretches a little before getting up, rubbing his nose. "I should go back to getting undressed, I guess."

"Yeah." Gon's mostly undressed before Killua speaks up again. "Uh. Do you mind if I...look. At. You know. I'm not gonna stare or anything, and if you don't want me to or it's too weird, that's okay, I'm just...curious. I guess. Because I've never seen it. All of my siblings, uh..." he says, trailing off awkwardly. "Well, whatever."

"Sure," he says as he pulls off his underwear, turning to face Killua. Killua looks, briefly, making a small "Hmm" sound, before dutifully turning away. "Can I look at Killua's?"

"...I guess."

Gon glances briefly, curiously at Killua's penis. It's interesting and sort of strange to look at it...it's, probably, what he would have been born with, ideally. He's not sure if he really wants one or not, though. For now, he's mostly fine with what he has, but maybe it'll be different when he's older. He doesn't know. "Hmm...it's kind of weird."

"Of course it's weird," Killua huffs, turning away. "They're all weird. Genitals just look weird, that's kind of how they are in general."

"Yeah, I guess. It's just kind of weird...adults are really interested in that kind of thing, aren't they? I think. Like Leorio."

Killua snorts. "Well, we're still kind of young for that, you know."

"Yeah. Feels weird to think about, though."

"I guess. Anyway," Killua says, sitting down, "we should probably start actually washing. You know. If we're gonna take a bath."

"Yeah. Hey, Killua, turn around and I'll wash your back."

"Ehh...Isn't that kind of weird?" Killua says, a little pink in the face.

"I don't see why it would be."

Killua turns away, rubbing the back of his head and grumbling a little. "Yeah, go ahead, I guess."

Gon takes a lathered up washcloth and starts scrubbing. "I'm a little surprised, though," he says after a little while. "Usually, people are more surprised. You know, when they find out about that. Or I have to explain it to them more before they get it."

"I mean, I know you, Gon. I can't really picture you _not_ being a boy, regardless of. Anything like that. You're you."

"Hmm..."

"Anyway, I have a little experience with this kind of thing, I guess, Because of..." Killua says before trailing off. "Never mind, I guess." He seems reluctant to leave it there, and his expression is wistful. Gon's curious.

"But that just makes me want to know, though. Because of what?"

"I'll tell you some other time, probably. I think you'd like her, though."

"Hmm. Then I'll have to hold you to that, Killua," Gon says, smiling at Killua, and Killua smiles back.

"Yeah."

**Author's Note:**

> There's a bunch of different interpretations out there for how Illumi's needle works with regard to Alluka. For this fic, I'm going with an interpretation where it keeps Killua from doing anything actively to try to help her or talking about her directly/in detail to anyone else (to preserve family secrets of course), but he still remembers she exists. The interpretation that he totally forgot about her never really made a whole lot of sense to me or sat well with me, even though I get where it came from.
> 
> Uh. Not 100% satisfied with this, but it's nice posting something that's not a million years old. And just nice finishing something in this fandom at all, considering how many fics I've started that have gotten absolutely nowhere and how important this fandom is to me.


End file.
